Sebastian George Thomas

A story that I whipped up to work on throughout Editing & Revision. Let me know what you all think could be done to it.    -Thomas Lotito

Sebastian George Thomas always thought about killing himself. Just thought about it.

He lived alone, and he believed that everyone, truthfully, lived alone too. His large Victorian house was dusty and dark, but it was habitable. There was a large yard with tall trees and thick grass for his quiet bloodhound, Cyrus, to roam.

Cyrus wasn’t much company. He was just a thing that needed to be fed and let out. The rest of the time he would sleep or just walk from room to room.

It was sunny out this particular day, but the solid film of dust and residue on the windows made it look grey. Sebastian never knew that it was sunny outside. He never left his house much anymore. What was there to see? You go one place and it would just be like other places that you went. No point in traveling. He wanted to travel; there was just no point.

Sebastian always sat by the window to drink his coffee and munch on his toast. Cyrus would be sleeping on the floor. When it looked like Sebastian was staring out his window, he was really just focusing on the dust. Dust, thought Sebastian, will always be in this house. He could wipe it off the window so that he’d have a clearer view, but it would just pile up again. No one was coming over to be entertained anyway.

He took his mug and his small glass plate and placed them in the sink. He ran the hot water over them until the steam fogged up his glasses too much.

Drowning was one possible way to go. The bathtub was useable that’s for sure, but he

would have to hold himself down. Sebastian didn’t think he could do that. He’d have doubts halfway through and pull himself up. There was Blackmere Pond not too far from his house. If he just jumped in with all his clothes on and just waited till he sank and he weighed too much that could work.

Drowning could definitely work. From what Sebastian understood it’s quite a peaceful way to die. After that first initial shock where desperate, flailing arms try to pry his body out of the water and he begins screaming but there’s no sound and water envelops his lungs. Then whatever tears he begins to shed merge with the water around him and he starts vomiting whatever volume of the pond that he swallowed - right when his body turns off its nerves, and all there’s left to do is wait for the rest to turn off too, that was when it gets peaceful.

Cyrus scratched the door and whimpered to go outside. It was sunny from what Sebastian could tell. He grabbed the leash and walked Cyrus down the street. He looked at the leash in his hands. Hanging was another way to go. Cyrus kept up with his pace as Sebastian contemplated. He could do it right now, in fact. There were plenty of trees around, and it was the middle of the day so no one was home. The wind started kicking up and shifted a large group of clouds in front of the sun, making the sky turn a bright grey.

One strong looking birch tree’s bark turned from white to a sandy grey. Sebastian could just let Cyrus off of the leash; someone would pick him up. Then he could rig the leash around a branch and climb up and stick his head through the loop. He didn’t think that he could give himself a strong enough leap that it would break his neck like they do at executions. He would suffocate if he did it here. There would be a bit of grabbing at the leash around his neck, but gravity would make it too tight for him to allow for any breathing room.

And how would he be able to climb to a high enough branch in order to let himself drop? He was sixty years old, his bones didn’t allow for that. It would be too public at that spot

anyway, he didn’t want strangers seeing his dead body and seeing his dog running around on random yards in the neighborhood.

A very distant roll of thunder was heard. Sebastian turned and saw a longer field of clouds stretch far into the sky, all rolling his way. He headed home. When he got inside he let Cyrus off of his leash, the dog immediately went under the window to lie down. The thunder got louder and the rain started falling. It started lightly but then it became a heavy drumming against the window.

Sebastian reclined in the sofa across from, head turned toward the window to watch the rain hit. Cyrus would lift his head whenever the thunder struck. The wind grew stronger and the window started rattling loudly. Cyrus moved from under the window and laid alongside the couch next to Sebastian. Sebastian gingerly dropped a hand down to lightly pet Cyrus. He closed his eyes along with the dog.

The wind kicked up harder and the window rattled louder. Sebastian looked outside. What he could make of the branches outside were violently flailing. The house creaked and crooked at every gust of wind. The window swiftly swung open and shattered into hundreds of pieces. Cyrus stood up with excitement, and Sebastian found himself the most unsettled.

Cold, wet air began pouring into the house. He made his way to the shards of glass so that Cyrus wouldn’t step on them. They would do the job too. All he was need is a quick, strong cut from one of the jagged crystalline pieces and he could just sit there and watch it all pour out. There would only be pain wherever he cut himself, so he wouldn’t feel it all body wide. He would have to put Cyrus outside or upstairs so that he wouldn’t sit there and lick his wounds forever. This wasn’t a public place either, it could be a month or so until someone found his body, or maybe sooner if they heard the dog howling out of hunger from outside or from one of the rooms upstairs.

There was another crack of thunder and Sebastian looked outside. He had not seen his backyard so clearly in a long time. The whole scene was full of hues of grey and green, with flecks of orange and red and brown as the wind whipped leaves on the grass and across where the window used to be. The branches were flailing like the arms of some horrified person caught in a wild crossfire. The wind screamed through the trees and there were so many leaves being vortexed in the wind that a quicker glance and they would have looked like fire.

Lightning snaked across the sky and the whole yard was illuminated for that split second. Sebastian remarked at how truly terrifying his yard could be. He ushered Cyrus into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. Cyrus took a sip from his water bowl and laid under the kitchen table. Sebastian got himself a glass of water, sat down, and stared at the door to the window room. He pictured the broken glass on the floor in the next room, and the only thing he resolved to do was buy a new window the next day.